Monday, December 24, 2012

change.

^ Obviously this pic is a few months old, I'm probably twice this size now!

These days, I'm cherishing every last second that I have one on one time with my Aubrey. Some days I get so dang emotional about it - I love our life & our time together.  We are sidekicks.  We are always, always together. .  

I know that things will change drastically once her baby sister gets here - she won't have 100% of my attention anymore.  She's in a big mama phase right now & it tears up my heart to know she's going to have to share me soon.  I know she'll love her baby sister eventually, but there is a chance she might resent her at first.  I know challenges & trials are awaiting me - but thankfully my prayers have been telling me that there are about 100x more blessings & joyful times to make up for them.  I just have to get through the "trenches."  

So now, I'm just soaking up this time.  I rock her a little longer at night.  I laugh just a bit harder when she does something funny.  And I just try to be as present as possible & enjoy these last few weeks of being a mama of one.  Every day keeps flying by, but it brings me so much comfort to know that although the past 22 months have gone by painfully fast, I've been with her nearly every hour of every day.  That day in the hospital that I decided not to go back to work was probably one of the best decisions I've made - I'll never regret getting to spend all this time with her.  

The thing that makes me feel better the most is the fact that before Aubrey was born, I remember all these similar feelings - except they were about Steve.  I thought our relationship would change so much.  Our life was so fun being a couple with no kids & I was afraid everything would be different.  Then Aubrey came along & everything did change  - for the better.  To be honest, I don't even remember what we did before Aubrey!  I know life was wonderfully sweet, but nothing in comparison to our new life with our baby girl.  I know I will feel the same way after this baby - I won't even remember how it was to not have her around & love her so much.  Life will be even better.  I guess it's just hard to imagine life being any better when it's pretty great as it is.  

PS - Don't be surprised if there's lots of these rambly, hormonal posts in the next couple weeks.  I'm a rollercoaster of emotions over here these days ;) Merry Christmas Eve by the way!

2 comments:

  1. Merry Chriswtmas and this picture you look beautiful! Having sisters is the best so once she's here she'll love it!

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  2. Don't even worry girl, having a sister that close will be so wonderful for her! I wish I would have mine closer. Mine are 4 years apart and just don't have anything in common. You are SUCH a great mom, it really is obvious by the way you talk about them and care soo much. It's gonna be perfect.

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